Somehow, when Kristine Lilly announced her retirement from soccer last week, it felt real — and appropriate, both a rarity these days among professional athletes trying to figure out if it’s time to retire (or not).

Why is that?

Perhaps because she didn’t do it impulsively, but took several months after the end of the season to decide. And it was on her terms.

Last season with the Boston Breakers — and this year with the US team — she remained a factor and one of the most skilled players on the field. She had time to burnish her legacy and earn her records. She did it with poise and focus. She was not a showboat.

And unlike some female athletes who retired to start families, Lilly was already a mom. (Her daughter last fall at a practice at the Harvard fields played with trainers — mostly hide and seek, but soccer ball play, too!) The point: Lilly didn’t cut her sports career short because of some myth that motherhood and pro-sports don’t mesh.

Yet, she recognized that she was getting older. She’s 39. In May, she became the oldest player to score for team USA. Last spring she spoke with FairGameNews about starting what would become her final season with the Boston Breakers (Q&A here).

In short, Lilly is doing what most athletes talk about wanting to do — but struggle to carry out: Going out on top, at just the right time.

Last Friday, I spoke with Angela Hucles, a former Lilly teammate on the Boston Breakers, World Cup and Olympic teams. Hucles retired in October 2009 and now works in commercial real estate and is president of Dream Big! a new non profit that provides sports equipment and covers playing fees to poor and homeless girls. (Q&A with Hucles about her retirement here).

Hucles e-mailed over the weekend with her thoughts about Lilly’s retirement news. Here’s what she wrote:

I am very happy and proud of Kristine for making her decision on retiring from her soccer career.  She has given so much to the sport and to the teams she played on, and I feel very honored that I was able to play with her both on the professional club level as well as the US team.

Lil was my first roommate the very first time I was ever in a camp with the full women’s national team, and was also there to be my captain the first time I played professionally for the Boston Breakers.  She has always been there and that’s one of the things that make her and her illustrious career so special.  To be able to sustain excellence for that long…I truly don’t know many people in the world who are in her league.  I know she will be missed by her teammates, coaches and staff as well as the fans who have followed her for years.

Kristine Lilly walking off the field with teammates after practice, Spring 2010

By Megan Wood

Sadly, the LA Sol have been dissolved, leaving one less professional women’s soccer team to inspire young players. But there is a team out there to root for: Utah’s Mighty Cheetahs. This film is not new, but if you haven’t seen it or heard about it, watch the trailer here. In it, Mighty Cheetahs coach (and filmmaker) Jenny Mackenzie documents a third grade girl’s soccer team which pushes the boundaries of gender segregation in sports by competing in the boys division (for the first time in 2005). Mackenzie — who does public speaking — is coming our way tomorrow so we took time to talk with her about the film. Inspired to make it by her own mother and the reaction of fans on the sideline when their boy’s faced all-girl competition, Mackenzie follows her dream team of 8-year old girls as they make clear that the insult “Kick Like A Girl” is actually a compliment.

FGN: What personal experiences triggered your interests in this topic and the Kick Like A Girl project?

JM: Sports have always been an important part of my life.   When I became a mother, I knew that I wanted to coach my girls in a variety of sports and I knew that having female role models in all areas of their lives was important- on the playing field, in the work place, in school, and at home.  It was my own mom who inspiring me to start filming Kick Like A Girl. She had come out to visit at the beginning of the season we were playing against the boys, and she heard some of the sideline comments from the parents, and she said “Jenny you have a great story here.”

FGN: Why do you think young boys and girls are separated by gender in athletics?

JM: I think gender segregation in any aspect of life comes from an historical context.  We’ve made tremendous progress with gender equity and integration, but there are everyday issues that remind me that there is still a lot of work to be done.

FGN: Was it as big of a deal to the girls as it was to their parents and other community members that they were playing soccer with boys?

JM: No.  The girls were really pumped and excited for the next challenge. They were ready to continue to learn and grow.

FGN: What effect did a co-ed team have on the female and male players? What lessons did they carry off the field from their experience?

JM: I think it had lasting effects on all of the boys and girls, as well as their parents.  They all learned from each other- the boys learned to respect the girls on the playing field, and therefore in other areas of their lives as well.  They also learned as they watched the girls work together on the soccer field,  that teamwork is much more effective than the ‘one man show’.  The girls learned that the possibilities for them at the age of 9 to grow as young athletes were not limited by gender.

FGN: What were the reactions of the community when you presented this documentary? Is there more co-ed play in your community?

JM: The community has wrapped their arms around this film.  They are very proud of it, and yes it has inspired more co-ed play.  We are in the process of working with local and National Youth soccer boards to have co-ed opportunities through elementary school.

FGN: Do you have any plans for another film? Are you left with any lingering questions after you produced Kick Like A Girl?

JM: I have two projects in development- one called Teen Love, an in depth look at the reality of teenage love, romance, and sexuality.  The other film is called Sugar Babies, and it looks at the public health epidemic of Diabetes through four children living with diabetes.

It bugs me. I drive by the fields in my town – and I only see men coaching the soccer teams.  Don’t get me wrong. It’s wonderful when dads share quality time with their daughters and sons. But where are the moms?

Even in the backyard, it’s dad shooting hoops and playing catch. How can we get moms outside to play?

Our daughters now have the opportunity to play a variety of sports, but we still have too few female role models to guide them.  Showing girls that they can be strong, active, and capable women starts at home, with mothers.

Dolly Ryan (photo), did play basketball in high school and college and now coordinates the 7th and 8th grade youth basketball program in her community. She’s working to creating a co-coaching model that includes at least one female and one male coach for each team. Ryan says she “hopes that through youth basketball more mothers will see they can contribute through youth sports.” Most coaches are dads, she says.

Having moms in coaching positions, says Ryan, brings a valuable balance to a program, helping to “reflect what town sports should be about, i.e. community, having fun, living a healthy lifestyle, challenging yourself, being respectful of refs and coaches – and representing the town in a positive light both on and off the court.”

Contrary to popular belief, you can coach even if you haven’t played the sport. And – truly – your participation matters.  Just in case you need the nudge, here are six reasons why it’s beneficial for your daughters to see you coach:

1.    Doing something together other than shopping at the mall is a fun and alternative way to bond.
2.    She will see you as a whole new person (not just the one upset by the messy room) including as a skilled sportsperson, something we value in our society.
3.    You will feel important and proud of yourself – particularly if it’s a new sport for you.  (Note: When you feel good, your daughter will notice!)
4.    You can share firsthand in your daughter’s accomplishments as an athlete, plus she’ll develop her own self-confidence by wanting to show off her skills!
5.    Learning about your daughter’s sport allows you to be an educated fan and cheerleader.  Dads need not have a monopoly on sports knowledge and when you can talk about the passing game or staying goal-side when defending, she’ll notice.  It will take you from mom role to mentor role.
6.    Mothers can make great mentors, especially when daughters pursue sports.  And the benefits can go both ways. Getting involved in your daughter’s sport may inspire you to ramp up your own activity level. It can be an opportunity to get back to something you love or to redefine yourself!

Emilie Liebhoff is a former co-captain of Dartmouth College women’s ice hockey, mother of two daughters, and founder of Moms as Mentors and the Director of Strategic Initiatives at the National Coalition of Girls’ Schools.

By Laura Pappano

Of course being hot helps. Good-looking athletes get our attention, whether we’re talking Danica Patrick or Tom Brady. It doesn’t make them any better on the racetrack or the football field, but it does attract fans and sponsors.

I get that.

But there’s trouble when we consider the broader implications of who gets a hearing and some respect in our society – whether it’s on the field – or on a campaign trail or in a boardroom.

Do we need sex to sell women’s sports? Do women have to be attractive to be listened to? Unfortunately, women are forced to occupy a very narrow cultural space in our society (bitch, bunny, or mom?) that’s tightly tied to our bodies.

Michele Obama may be smart and accomplished, but we are most comfortable talking about her outfits and messages about organic gardening and family nutrition. That’s not as scary as hearing what she thinks.

Isn’t it obvious that we need to expand the depth and breadth of female public images? We need women pioneers (more females on Supreme Court, in Congress, in executive suites, on Little League teams, represented as artists in museums, as directors in Hollywood, etc…). In other words: Normalize female leadership so it’s not FIRST about how you look.

Artist Lillian Hsu has just launched an art action and held a mass event last weekend in which supporters placed 8.5 X 11 posters reading “Beautiful Just the Way You Are” in front of magazine covers featuring all-too-familiar representations of glam-only objectified female bodies. Her point:  Intervene and interrupt the auto-absorption process that makes smart women feel inadequate if they aren’t skinny with perfect teeth and skin.

As Hsu puts it: “Before we are ten, and then without pause throughout our lives, we internalize the lesson that our bodies are how we will be first judged as individuals, and that there is a body type that we must attain to be judged worthy of attention.” And the judging of bodies she is talking about isn’t about what athletic feats those bodies can perform, but how hot they are doing it.

I’m not burning my bra  (‘specially my sports bra!) or throwing out the lipstick. It’s all right with me if Danica Patrick takes a Madonna-like command of her sexuality. But just as everyone knows that because Tom-Brady-the-model is pretty, doesn’t mean Tom-Brady-the-football-player isn’t tough, we need to extend that flexibility to women.

While we’re at it, let’s lose those tramp-victim-slut ads for jeans and perfume and popularize the scent of real female power.