By Emilie Liebhoff

I recently took my three-year-old daughter ice-skating for the first time.  I skated a few laps, did some quick crossovers, and pivoted back and forth.  She was amazed.  (I’m sure she thought, “What did you do with my mom?”)  Then, with knees bent and arms out, she tried. “Look Mommy, I’m doing it.  I’m doing it!”  It was heartwarming: She wanted to be like me.

This is an exciting Olympic year for me.  It’s the first time my daughter is old enough to really watch Olympic women’s ice hockey with me.  She’s seen men’s football.  She’s seen men’s golf.  And, she’s seen men’s baseball.  Now I get to show her my sport, and the strong, skilled, athletic women who play it.

Here are three reasons why I’m watching with my daughter:

1)    Encourage her to be a sports fan.  Not only do I want to show her that women play ice hockey, but I also want to encourage her to watch sports and to excited about the women playing them.  Men and boys follow sports — but not enough girls and women do. Watching the Olympics is Step One to develop the fan in our daughters.

2)    Show her female sports role models.  Growing up it was tough for me to be a sports fan: Sure, Wayne Gretzy was an amazing hockey player, but he was a guy.  That’s not the case now for our girls. There are incredible female athletes who our daughters can aspire to be like, and who can be positive influences in their lives. (This US team has 15-first-timers plus veteran Jenny Potter — mom! — and superstar Angela Ruggiero, the first female non-goalie to play men’s pro hockey).

3)    Teach her the game. When you are an educated observer, your daughter will notice!  She’ll appreciate and admire your ability to watch the game, root for your team, and know what’s going on. This also is a chance for you to help your daughter build her own sports knowledge.

I did play hockey in college, but that experience isn’t required to watch — and enjoy! — the games with your daughters. Here’s help:

– First, when watching don’t say, “Wow isn’t she pretty?”  Instead, use this opportunity to emphasize the skill and strength of the players.  “Look, Jane, isn’t it impressive the way she stickhandles the hockey puck?” Or, “See how fast she can skate!” Remind them of the finesse and skill required to keep possession of the puck, particularly because checking isn’t allowed, but body contact is.  Point out, that women can use their bodies to protect the puck.

– Show your daughter that you understand the sport. Mention some of the rules. One key rule is offsides: The easiest way to explain it is to always let the puck win a race between the player and the puck.  If the puck crosses the blue line into the offensive end, the puck must cross the line before the offensive player.  If the puck gets sent out of that end and crosses back over the blue line, then all offensive players must follow the puck out of the offensive end.  The puck always needs to win the race.   For more rules and information, click here.

– Make it a point to interact while watching the game.  Have your daughters notice, for example, that when there are only four players on one side of the ice it means that team must have a penalty.  Conversely, the other team must have a “power play.”  This is a good chance for the power play team to score because they have an extra player.  Sometimes, you will notice an exciting moment when a team will “pull the goalie” to put an extra offensive player on the ice.  This usually happens if a team is trying to tie up the game and there is a minute remaining.

– And, importantly, show your daughters that when women score, they celebrate.  (Girls sometimes feel they are being conceited if they celebrate).  Expressing happiness after a goal is OK and encouraged!

– Also point out that ice hockey is not about the individual, but is a team sport. Highlight the fact that there are five players on the ice and that they all pass the puck to each other to work toward scoring a goal.  They also work together to defend and protect their own goalie.

The Olympic games occur over an exciting two weeks.  Use the games as a chance to not only bond with your daughter, but to ignite her interest in becoming a sports fan.   You may be developing the next generation of female athletes. See  Olympic women’s ice hockey schedule here.

Emilie Liebhoff teaching her eldest daughter to skate

Emilie Liebhoff is former co-captain of the Dartmouth College women’s ice hockey team, mother of two daughters, founder of Moms as Mentors™ and the Director of Strategic Initiatives at the National Coalition of Girls’ Schools.

The 2009 recreational co-ed softball season is well underway – and so are sexist practices. Why do organizers assume that female players are – by dint of being female – inferior players?

Planet Social Sports — which organizes recreational (emphasis on recreation) sports primarily in California and Nevada — notes in its softball rules that “No more than 6 men are allowed on the field at one time. There is no maximum number of women allowed on the field or in your line-up.” And if a pitcher decides to “intentionally walk a male player to get to a female player (italics mine) than [sic] the batter will be awarded two bases.”

There are leagues that let female batters choose to walk rather than bat if the guy before her walked.

That’s one of the “miscellaneous rules” in the Johnston, Rhode Island coed recreational softball league. The league may have the “Texas Swear Rule” in place this season – use foul language while you’re at bat and it’s an out – but finds nothing rude in assuming women are sure outs. (If you are short one female to start the game, rules say, the missing female counts as an automatic out until she arrives. There’s no such rule for missing men – even if the guy you’re waiting on is a complete novice and the woman is a former college player).

Coed sports are a terrific idea — but not if the rules perpetuate stereotypes which presume that any guy is better than every female. Why not just ask: Who played in high school? In college? Now, I’d back up in the outfield when I saw them at the plate — whether they were male or female.

After many years of lugging around a lacrosse stick to various U.S. locales and being met with conspicuous stares and questions of “What is that?” I was thrilled to see women’s (and men’s) lacrosse being nationally televised this past weekend.

As I watched Syracuse and Notre Dame face off, I noticed something: Women’s lacrosse is looking more like men’s lacrosse. Gary Gait (one of the all time greats of the men’s game) coaches the Syracuse women, and as I watched I saw what I’ve seen elsewhere, namely the flow of people, technology and tactical concepts from the men’s game to the women’s.

For example:

1. Coaches (top men’s players are coaching college women, like Gary Gait @ Syracuse and Mike Waldvogel @ Fairfield)

2. Equipment (women are adopting an offset stick design which has more of a curve to the head – like the men; the use of protective goggles is now required – and some wonder if helmets could be next)

3. Hard Boundaries and Restraining Lines (prior to 2006, there were no boundaries in the women’s game)

4.    Tactical Concepts
a.    Draw Packages Many women’s teams are now training and using certain players in games         specifically to win possession of the ball and then quickly sub out for offensive/defensive players.
b.    Subbing “on the fly” Women’s teams are now substituting one player for another within the natural flow of the game so as to make better use of specialized skill sets, and catch defenses off guard.
c.    Goalie Tactics Women goalies are adopting a lower, more athletic stance in the cage and being significantly more active outside the cage.

d.    Defensive Sets Certain styles of defense, for instance the “Backer D” are lifted directly from the men’s game with only minor adjustments to accommodate women’s rules.

These changes are not necessarily a bad thing. Some of my greatest mentors as a player, particularly in college, were men. They offered me a perspective on the game that I hadn’t already seen or heard and as a result, I listened more closely and applied their ideas more readily. I’m nothing if not thankful for their influence on me.

That said, I have mixed feelings about whether the influx of personnel from the men’s game and adoption of male lacrosse practices is a good thing for the women’s game. On one hand, it can make the women feel like second class citizens who simply take, take, take without having anything much the men want to “borrow” from our game.

On the other hand, stealing the men’s style of play may mean the women’s game becomes faster-paced and more exciting, attracting higher rates of participation, viewership and support. So maybe we women should just take the goods (say thank you very much to the men) and run! What do you think?

Lauren Taylor, who will receive her Master’s in Public Health from Yale next month, is assistant coach for the Yale Women’s Lacrosse team. As a player for Yale, she earned three All-America selections and was a four-time first team All-Ivy League selection.