We parents are obsessed with starting children in competitive sports as early as possible. How else to get them to the World Cup, Wimbledon, the Olympics or the NFL, NBA, WNBA, NHL?

If our son is going pro in soccer, my husband and I joke, we need him on the best team with the best coaching – and fast. But are we ignoring his football and lax potential? And, you know, he’s a good basketball player…

Never mind that he’s SIX. We’re not insane (really). World-class athletes tell in interviews about how their parents started them young and about the hours of practice necessary to emerge at the top of their game – whatever game that is.

So, shouldn’t we parents get on the stick? Maybe – not. Too many parents can’t choose what sport is best for their child and don’t, instead enrolling 5-and-6-year-olds in everything — soccer, flag-football, swimming lessons, dance class, golf, tennis, gymnastics, basketball, t-ball.  Children are also starting on teams and in activities at ages 3 and 4.  But realistically children are not ready to handle an instructional clinic until 4 or ready to be part of a team until age 5.

And guess what? They don’t NEED to. Starting kids on competitive teams when they are too young sends the wrong message and might even stress them out! What many parents seem to have forgotten is the need for children to just PLAY. For fun-at the playground or in the backyard.

The benefits of developing coordination and physical skills in an informal setting are overlooked and undervalued. Spend time tossing or kicking a ball with your child, climbing playground equipment, running around, playing tag, skipping and dancing together, riding a bike or climbing a tree. Babies who sit in exersaucers all day and children poised in front of the computer screen or TV do not develop physical skills which will enable them to play sports at an appropriate age.

All-around gym classes are one way for young children to develop physical skills. When they each reached age 3, I enrolled my son and, now, my daughter in a class that involves basic tumbling, climbing, jumping and running around a gym in a fun, silly setting. Both exhibit absolute joy, exuberantly participating in both the creative play and skills portions of the class. What I noticed most: how much their confidence increased. (I watch from the observation area outside the gym-yay! We skip mommy/baby classes. Who needs to PAY to play with a baby?)

These activities may not look like the serious sports we parents envision our children playing, but this stuff matters. Often parents start a child in a competitive sport and expect them to be great without having put time into developing basic competencies and — most important — confidence.

Think of the early years as pre-season:

1.) PLAY with your kids! Have fun with informal sports and let them see you play. This should start when they are babies – and do it with your girls!!

2.) Challenge your kids athletically, but don’t stress competition too early. A child thrown into a team situation without having time to play for fun will not enjoy the experience. Listen to your kids. If they don’t want to do a team sport yet, don’t make them.

3.) Natural athletic ability can be evident in very young kids, but children change as they develop (plus some sports like rowing and fencing aren’t an option until they are much older). So even if your child may not seem interested in sports now, don’t make it harder for them to join later on by failing to equip them with basic athletic competency skills. Even those not destined for the Hall of Fame can develop basic physical coordination and experience the joy of playing a sport.

By Sarah Odell

How appropriate that I happened to be at my parent’s when Sunday’s New York Times Magazine asked on its cover “What Is It About 20-Somethings?” Oh great, I thought to myself, yet another article about why my generation hasn’t lived up to expectations. I picked up the magazine from the ottoman in the living room and found a story that both surprised me and made me think. The theme of “emerging adulthood” struck a chord. Yet while the article aptly described me and many of my friends, one part nagged at me: What was all this stuff about aimless wandering?

Granted, the article didn’t put down the fruits of such wandering, but I couldn’t relate. Sure, my friends and I still involved our parents in our lives, and – yep — they were helping us get on our feet as we landed our first jobs. But aimless? Not at all.

So what makes us so different? My belief: We are athletes.

Since I graduated college in May and moved to New York, I have noticed something about the other 20-something women I meet. The most successful ones, the ones that have nailed down those hard-to-get jobs or are a commanding presence in the office, either are athletes or were athletes in college.

What’s the connection? I believe that what we were taught on the field, court, or pool was how to wander — but with purpose. The 20-somethings in the Times piece bounce from one career to another and are cast as negligent recipients of privilege. They have fancy college degrees, and they’re not doing anything with them. As a young woman just out of college wandering can feel especially difficult because if you can’t find a lucrative career society tells us that the next best thing is to find a lucrative man. We have to affix ourselves to something.

I believe my sports experience has trained me how to play through these times, these years of “emerging adulthood” when – yes — you do feel unsettled.

I can clearly remember the first time I was on a squash court and I realized how to change a loosing game to a winning one. I was playing my college rival, we were at one game a piece, and I was down 9-7 in the third. I knew that if she won that third game, she’d win the match.

I can remember walking up to the glass back of the court, rubbing my hand on it, and coming up with a strategy. I was going to hit long, tight balls into the backhand corner, and when I had trapped her there after a few strokes, I would hit a drop or an attacking boast. With this plan, I won the third game, and eventually, the match.

But what about those first two games, when I didn’t know what to do? I would call that wandering. I was feeling my opponent out, and by the third game, the wandering had suggested a direction.

Because in athletics, there is always a goal (to win), you wander with purpose. These are lessons not necessarily taught in classrooms or workplace internships. Sports allows – and even encourages – you to creatively work through options to get to the desired outcome. Especially for women, who still make less money on the dollar to men, who are underrepresented as CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, learning how to wander with purpose is a powerful tool. The athletes-turned-young-professionals I’ve met in New York prove that those who have played sports…win.

By Lindsay Rico

After speaking with Urvasi Naidoo about the sport of Netball, only one thing occurred to me: Lebron James could never play this game. Naidoo is the CEO of the IFNA , International Federation of Netball Association, (check out her blog here) and gave me the rundown on Netball as a team sport in its purest form — and as a sport she has used to inspire young girls in India. The balance, agility, and teamwork required to play Netball are skills that Naidoo believes are key in encouraging girls build confidence and realize their potential. And it’s catching on in the U.S., too.

FGN: First of all, what exactly is Netball? How does it work?

UN: Netball is a team sport played by women. It’s essentially similar to basketball: there are two posts and one ball the object of the game is to score the most points by putting the most balls in each hole. There is a substantial difference in rules however. The main rule is that you are not allowed to move with the ball. You must pass it to your teammates and make that pass within three seconds. You are allowed to block on defense, but unlike basketball it is a non contact sport. There is a lot of quick thinking and strategy involved.

FGN: Is it a fast growing sport?

UN: Yes, absolutely. We are finding that it’s not just a commonwealth sport but that its expanding into other countries as well. It’s easily accessible and relatively cheap. You don’t need that much equipment. Just a few girls, a couple of posts and a ball. It’s also a school sport. Every girl has to play netball in school—at least in the commonwealth countries.

FGN: Why do you think Netball is so attractive to women and girls?

UN: It was created especially for women. It’s fun, dynamic and it’s a team game—you can’t have one star. There’s this camaraderie and team spirit that comes into it, which is healthy for girls.

FGN: Is this why Netball is such a good incentive for your program in India?

UN: Yes, the G.O.A.L program, started by the IFNA, targets underprivileged girls and uses Netball to encourage them to transform their lives as well as set and meet their goals. The girls enjoy playing Netball and, yes, it is like an incentive because they play the sport part of the time but the deal is that they also must take time to learn the curriculum that the program mentors have created for them. It’s a fair trade.

Lindsay Rico (R) interviews Urvasi Naidoo (L)

By Sarah Odell and Lindsay Rico

Have you ever considered access to athletics a human right? Do you wonder why it it matters for women to play sports? And, what the heck is Netball?

These are a few of the questions being put forth at the Fifth World Conference on Women & Sport. Some 500 people from 60 countries have made their way Down Under to Sydney, Australia to examine the implications — and complications — facing the worldwide women’s athletic community.

The four-day conference is raising  challenging issues, but there is already one overwhelming response: Women’s access to sports is more than just a game.  FairGameNews.com is on site and blogging (watch for Q&A’s with key leaders coming up).

While female athletes (and would-be female athletes) may face particular barriers in their home nations, it is striking how much about the nature of the struggle for access, equity, and support are common across the globe. Some big themes:

– SPORT IS POWER: Women’s access to sport is not just a privilege, but  a right. This has been recognized in official declarations for years, but increasingly, this is not just about fitness, health, and the right to control one’s body, but about the political, economic and social tools that come as part of involvement in sports and sports culture.

– EQUITY IN SPORT IS A PUBLIC MATTER: Governments DO have an interest and a role to play in seeking — even regulating — gender equity in sports, several presenters have suggested. And one — Kate Ellis, Australian Minister of Sport — is actually taking action. She announced at the conference that her government would track and publish the gender make-up of sports governing boards and compile a Women in Sport Register to counter men who say they can’t find any qualified women to fill leadership roles. “If it’s really that hard for sport to go out there and find these women, then I’m prepared to work with them to do it,” she said.

– WOMEN’S SPORTS ARE MISSING FROM THE MEDIA: Female athletes around the globe are poorly covered and represented in the print and TV coverage (several studies showed a reproducibly predictable breakdown or representation: 80% men; 10% women; 10% other – horse racing typically gets more coverage than women, several speakers noted). What’s more, researchers say it hasn’t gotten any better in the past 30 years. As a result, said Toni Bruce, PhD, “we are teaching girls to be happy watching boys [play sports] and  teaching boys that they don’t have to watch girls [play sports].”

By Katie Culver

At the playground the other day a girl struggled to climb up a curved ladder after my son. She was wearing sandals. Her feet kept getting tangled in her dress.

Another day, a brother and sister at the park with their grandparents were swinging when the boy jumped down and ran to the next piece of equipment. The grandfather lifted the girl out of the swing and warned: “Now remember, no running! You have sandals on.”

“No running?” At the playground? Really?

When we wonder why women and girls still struggle for equal opportunity in this country, when we puzzle over why girls are so often discouraged – if not outright excluded – from sports, it might be time to consider how we dress our kids. From birth.

This is about more than the fact that gifts that come with a new baby differ strikingly. When parents shop for children’s clothes there is a clear (if oft-ignored) message being sent. Girl’s clothing has a common theme: “I’m cute” or “I’m a helpless princess” and “my looks matter the most.” Boy’s clothes, on the other hand, are all about cars, trucks, and sports — themes that suggest action and physical activity.

When my own daughter Mia started to creep it was obvious: It’s tough to crawl in a dress.  Yet, baby girls are always clothed in dresses.  Girls are at a disadvantage already.

I make sure Mia wears leggings/shorts and t-shirts and insist on sneakers she can walk/run in whenever we go out to play (the rule is the same for my son, who is five. You can’t run in crocks!).  The good news: At two-and-a-half, Mia runs and climbs like a champ, dribbles a soccer ball – and can throw a curve ball.

Yes, she is coordinated — but this is no accident.

Girls must be encouraged to develop physical skills early on and especially once they enter school. More often than their boy counterparts, girls opt out of physical activity—sitting out at recess and during gym class. Girls also tell researchers that they don’t “like” to play sports, both findings that emerged from my own dissertation study (“Shut Out: How Hegemony, Discouragement, and Opportunity Affect Access to Sports for Low-Income, Urban Girls.”) Or check out the joint study by Harvard School or Public Health and the National Women’s Law Center on Massachusetts girls lagging behind boys in sports participation.

(For those interested in more: see W.C. Taylor’s study, Physical Activity Among African-American and Latina Middle School Girls, 1999, or Lena Williams, Women’s Sports: Hispanic Female Athletes are Few and Far Between,” 2002.)

The point: It is tough to play when you lack skills and boys dominate the play space. But it’s even tougher when you are a girl who is not dressed for playing.

Forget puffed sleeves, ribbons and fancy shoes. Let’s change the focus of girl clothes from some rigid notion of gender appropriate “fashion” to function. From pretty to comfy. From the emphasis on looks to an emphasis on action.

And, while we’re at it, as long as we parents are consumers, why don’t we favor clothing companies that feature girls playing sports, driving cars and being active? Consider how girls’ perspective on sport would change if they could picture themselves actually in the game — from the start?

Katie Culver, a mother of (soon to be three) children, is a consultant for the Barra Foundation and conducts Gender Workshops for teachers and parents. She holds a Ph.D. in Urban Education from Temple University.

Because we can all benefit from hearing serious young female athlete voices, we connected with three talented basketball players who just finished nine days at the summer academy run by the non-profit SportsChallenge Leadership & Education Alliance in Washington, D.C. Director Molly Hellerman (a former college athlete and pro soccer player for the Houston Tornadoes and the Chelsea Ladies FC) says the organization uses soccer and basketball to explicitly teach leadership and getting-along-with-different-people skills. “Sports offer girls the opportunity to practice being leaders,” she says.

Diamond Santana-Williams (top left, 12th grade, NYC, small forward) started playing basketball in 5th grade but “didn’t really take it seriously until I reached high school.” Now, she says, “I play with more heart than most players.” Katie Gallagher (top right, in background, 12th grade, Philadelphia, PA, guard) started playing when she was five because three older brothers played and says hard work and desire make her good. Devin Duprey (bottom, 12th grade, Middletown, DE, guard) began playing basketball in 6th grade and works to connect with teammates on and off the court.

FGN: How many of your female friends play a sport?

DS-W: A good amount play sports – but they only play at school as part of the school team and not in the neighborhood. I get frustrated when I’m in my neighborhood and none of my female friends play basketball on the local courts. I want to play basketball and I want to have girls like me playing, too.

FGN: What do you like best about playing a sport and being on a team?

DS-W: Sport is an easy place to make new friends. Also, it keeps me out of my neighborhood and out of trouble. Being part of the team, I have become a more responsible, dedicated and strong person.

KG: I love the sense of accomplishment I feel within myself when I play basketball and learn a new move. Also, I love how I have a second family of teammates who have my back.

DD: The relationships I gain from being on a team are what make sports so important to me. My teammates are my best friends and role models.

FGN: What is the connection between sports and leadership?

DS-W: In sports, there are many times when you have to “step-up” and be a leader – on and off the court. For example, in a game when a teammate or the team isn’t playing as well as they could, a leader needs to address it head-on, figure out what is wrong, try to fix it and create the intensity that is needed.

KG: Through sports I have become a much better leader because on the court I am not afraid to speak up. This has helped me become more outgoing. Through sports I have also learned to work together with all types of people.

DD: I believe that the characteristics of a great athlete directly correlate with those of a great leader. I also think that in order to have an effective team, there must be leadership in action on the court or field.

FGN: How do you think being a female athlete (and not a male athlete) shapes your experience?

DS-W: I feel like I always have to prove myself. Many guys my age will challenge me or think they can challenge me on the courts. Being a female athlete drives me to do better and I love it when they are surprised to see me compete just as hard and play just as smart as they do. They often underestimate our abilities.

DD: Being a female athlete makes me stronger. Female athletes are not recognized at the same rate that men are recognized. We have to have inner confidence in all that we do.

FGN: How has playing a sport helped you grow?

KG: Basketball has made me a much more accepting person. I have met many different people through basketball and at a young age I learned that things like ethnicity do not matter on the court.

DD: My freshman year of high school my sister was my volleyball coach. Later that year she passed away from complications after a car accident. From having her as a coach and sharing a love and passion for volleyball (and basketball) sports have become a way to connect with her.

FGN: What are your future plans?

DS-W: I want to go to a good college, play on the basketball team and get my degree. I want to become an athlete that other girls and boys look up to. I want to become a social worker and open up my own center for kids to help them deal with relationship abuse. I want to be successful. But above all, I want to have my mom with me to share my blessings.

KG: As an athlete, I would love to continue playing in college, either intramural, club or varsity.  Sports however are not the most important thing. I hope to become a nurse.

DD: In college I want to study education and Chinese. I also know how big basketball has become in China and I hope because I know the game I will be able to teach English as a second language, share my love of basketball, and teach young children in China the game.

Here’s an experiment you can do at home: Google “March Madness” and see how many entries actually mention a women’s championship. Just about any place you click, March Madness is talking about one playoff – and it’s all about the guys.

Even the NCAA site takes some navigating to get to the women’s play, while the men’s pops right up. The difficulty is only compounded if you actually want to watch the women’s games. The NCAA site offers a “Podcast Central” and “Post Game Central” for the men while the women’s side offers a PDF of printed remarks from a March 16 press conference. Come on, guys, is this for real?

Let’s hope the CBS College Sports All-Access (the video tab on the NCAA site) adds some of the D1 women’s programming to its schedule in the next few days.

The crux of the problem, of course, is that all of those office pools, online-bracket contests – and all the water-cooler yammering, friendly texting, and TV-watching – is all about the men’s contest because (SUPRPRISE!) most folks bet on the men’s games.

It’s time to change that.

Start your own office/workplace contest for the women’s 2009 “March to the Arch.” You can do it online or score it by hand. Download the bracket here, get your friends to fill it out and get it to you before play begins on Saturday. There are several ways to score, but one approach:

The winner will be selected based on a system of points awarded during each around for correct picks: Participants will be awarded one point for each victory correctly predicted in the first round, two points for each victory correctly predicted in the second round, three points for each victory correctly predicted in the third round, four points for each victory correctly predicted in the fourth round, five points for each victory correctly predicted in the fifth round and 10 points for correctly selecting the national champion. The winner of the contest will be the person with the most points.

Print out that bracket, pass it out, and start talking about the women’s games and post your comments here. This is not just about sports. It’s about women’s power and status. This is a political act!